A Modern Beowulf
Beowulf a handsome young man with slicked back black hair, green eyes, and a look on his face of pure energy streamed through his cheeks with a grin on him. He was wearing the usual black shoes and pants with a brown collared shirt and an apron to die for. Beowulf didn’t know that he was in for one of the worst days of his life.
As he proceeded to leave his house or cozy-shack as he liked to refer to it as, Beowulf stuck the keys in the ignition of his red 1987 Ford Fairmont that had stickers of his favorite bands on the back window that were easily recognized by people he knew, but not understandable by others. Driving to his workplace was always a problem for him as drivers aren’t keen to using turn signals or stopping when the lights are red, which are basic skills any driver on the road should know. He finally reached Genuardi’s after not only a close encounter of two teens driving wildly on the wrong side of the road then suddenly merging right next to him, but also an elderly woman who stopped right in the center of the road with no indications of why.
Walking through the front door of this fiend-farm Beowulf was greeted by triumphant screams of “The King is here!” He jolted to the time clock to punch in, since the distractions had left him close to being late.
At that same time a customer more horrendous than any before had popped into their so-called vehicle with rips and tears along the sides of the ancient monster from driving recklessly while under the influence of something that makes fools of those willing to throw their lives away.
Beowulf grabbed a drink and headed to his register signing on and flipping on the light. He rang up a couple of customers not really having much of a problem with any of them. This was unusual, because many tried to make his life difficult. He breathed a sigh of relief as the day didn’t seem like it was going to be bad. Of course, that was because he had never had Grendel as a customer before.
Grendel ripped through the middle of the highway like a stampede of wild animals. The motor inside of the van roared like never before as it was traveling at speeds faster than it was made for. Clutching the sales paper he had received through the mail previously that day Grendel smirked for the deals he would gain at Genuardi’s.
He popped off the highway. Traveling at speeds over the limits that were posted on the current road he climbed the pavement into the shopping center where Genuardi’s is located. Parking not only crooked but out of the lines, Grendel got out of his car and walked up to the automatic sliding doors. The lights suddenly lost some of their luminance as the fat stubby little man with nothing but a bad attitude heading through the doors.
Beowulf felt anger and sadness in the air which sent a chill up his spine. He shrugged it off while dazing off into space thinking of a woman he longed for to call his own but was taken and years older than he. As a customer approached his register he didn’t seem to notice being fully enthralled by what he so desired for yet couldn’t have. The customer became angry cursing at the spaced out worker. When they finally got Beowulf’s attention he rushed to ring them up. “I’m terribly sorry for the inconvenience,” Beowulf sighed.
Grendel scoured through the store looking for items on sale. This hadn’t been the first time Grendel went to a Genuardi’s, but there had been talk of whom he was for quite a long time. Workers were told to treat this one as a special case and not only be evidently nice, but to also try not to stir up any emotions. Beowulf said if he had ever encountered such a person that he would not only be unpleasant but also encourage and taunt him to do something he will eventually regret and to get him banned from the store.
Beowulf went on a break calmly telling the people that didn’t start to line up until after he had turned off his light that he was in fact closed. Plugging his iPod into his ears and gracefully sliding to the break room, Beowulf began enjoying a nice peanut butter and jelly sandwich that he found in his bag in the back. He chewed to the beat of Daft Punk’s “Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger” off of Discovery. After a few more songs Beowulf pulled out enough energy to walk back to his register.
Beowulf flipped on the light again yet casually slid away from his register staring at the clock hanging out in front of the registers always stared at by workers hoping every moment that it would suddenly be time to go from this place that brought the worst from him. Even this day, which was one of the best he had in a long time, brought rage and anger out of Beowulf.
Little did he know what he was in for when Grendel showed up at his register. Beowulf gave him a greeting, but Grendel didn’t even look him in the eyes. Beowulf started grinding his teeth in anger as he rang the items sending them down to be bagged by one of the baggers. After about half of the order had been bagged Grendel started screaming, “I WANTED PAPER IN PLASTIC. WHY CAN’T I HAVE WHAT I WANT?” Beowulf stared off not even paying any attention at all as he likes to do. He eventually got the notion after Grendel cried a few more times to do what he said. He grabbed a pile of paper bags and threw them onto the register not even helping bag anymore.
After the items had all been scanned and sent rapidly down the register Grendel urgently slid his credit card back and forth through the machine that was abused by the unforgiving customers who thought it was the machines fault when in actuality it was their fault for not listening to the workers or reading what the machine said. He began to jab at the touch-screen on the machine with his finger cursing profusely.
All of the people around started staring at the enraged customer. Finally, the credit card went through and he input his pin. An error occurred and Beowulf learned that it was from the wrong pin being entered on the machine. “I know I typed the right pin in,” Grendel screamed at the top of his lungs. He proceeded to run his credit card through and entered the pin again. This time it actually went through.
Beowulf handed him his receipt, but Grendel didn’t seem to leave. “Have a good life,” he said to Grendel. Beowulf had enough of this guys bad attitude and called the manager to his register. “This man has been overly rude; cursing, making a commotion, and holding up customers for about twenty minutes,” Beowulf told the manager. “Why weren’t these #$%#ing items on sale? Do I need to hit you to get the prices I was told I would receive?” cried out Grendel.
Beowulf had succeeded in making this customer do an unthinkable thing, which was threatening and cursing in front of the boss. He was simply ejected from the premises and told never to return again. The workers huddled around together and congratulated Beowulf on a job well done. They wouldn’t have to worry about this monster terrorizing this store ever again.
Through his larger-than-life intellect and cunning ways, Beowulf had saved the day.
The End
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